Practically Yours
by Keyblade Mistress Hikari
Summary: Paine have her own TV show? No way. A few months after the defeat of Vegnagun, Spira seems renewed, but a deeper evil lies within...


**(Practically Yours.)**

an: Okay, if anything seems stupid or out of place, tell me in my review. **Flames will be used to energize the Solar Flare**. Constructive criticism. I know this must seem like crap, but I'm still trying to get use to the whole fanfiction-writing scene… okies? Anywho, enjoy… oO;;

an2: ( **-x- means a transition change… like, from one place to another… **)

(_The Gippal-majingulator_)

**-x-**

It was a beautiful night outside the _Fa Muja Deiter _Hotel in Luca. So, it was odd for Bellboy Josh to hear the loud giggling and an occasional Al Bhed word come out of room 509 while he was casually walking past it.

"People at it again…" he muttered, pushing a large cart full of baggage past the room. "Didn't anyone read the beginning paragraph? It's a beautiful night outside. Do they really have to do it in their room?"

**-x-**

_In room 509 with everyone's favorite Al Bhed couple…_

**-x-**

"Hey, let's see what's on TV," Rikku said, seductively walking two fingers up Gippal's bare chest.

Gippal stared at her dumbfounded for a moment. "Why?" he asked.

"I wanna watch TV… and then do "_it_" again."

"Promise?" asked Gippal.

"Promise!"

Rikku giggled while Gippal turned on the TV and flipped through several channels. "News, News, Nightly News," he muttered, continuing to press the channel 'up' button. "Commercial for FFX2… Foreign Language Channel… Hold up… what's this? Is that Dr. P?"

Rikku squinted at the television set, holding onto the blankets tightly. "I think it's her nice twin. She would never do something like that. And who's that guy? He's sexy…"

"Rikku!"

Rikku shrugged. "Face it, Gip, you're only one of the thirty-three sexy men in Spira."

**-x-**

The camera crew hastily put the final touches on the set. The set? A small, cramped apartment on the outskirts of Luca. On a run-down blue couch sat a man with a guitar and a woman with an annoyed look on her face. There was a small space between them just enough for one more person. It wasn't a very decorative apartment, with only a few paintings here and there, but it got the job done.

But, I'm sure you're all asking yourselves… the set… for _what_? A television show, silly goose, called…

"PAINE'S WORLD! PAINE'S WORLD! PAI-!"

"Shut up, Hideo," Paine muttered through gritted teeth at the man next to her.

Hideo held up a hand at the woman indicating for her to shut up. "Hang on, Paine... Today, on PAINE'S WORLD! PAINE'S WORLD!"

"I will hurt you!"

"Anyways, today, on PAINE'S WORLD! Paine has a very special guest!"

Paine rolled her eyes. "I _always_ have a _very _special guest."

"Let us greet Paine's _very_ special guest, Mumu!" Hideo played the famous, "Welcome Guest!" guitar riff on his guitar. A young Al Bhed woman who had the spirit of Rikku, but the features of Buddy, walked into camera view.

Paine leaned across the couch and pulled Hideo closer to her. "Mumu? Who the hell is Mumu?" asked Paine quietly

"The inventor girl I was telling you about…," answered Hideo. "Don't worry – I'll handle it."

"Like I would worry about my already amazingly high social standing," whispered Paine sarcastically. She straightened up and motioned for Mumu to sit between them. Mumu hopped onto the couch next to Hideo.

"So, Mumu! What do you have for us today?"

"I made this thing called the Gippal-majingulator," said the perky Al Bhed girl.

"Ahh… so we see." Hideo turned to the camera and winked. "What does the Gippal-majingulator do, exactly?"

"It pinpoints where Gippal, the Machine Faction Leader, is at every second – even millisecond! – of the day. I love Gippal, and so I decided to do a science experiment to see the places where he most frequently visited, hoping that one day, I can catch him at one of those places to get his autograph."

"Could you tell us where he is right now?" asked Hideo.

"Of course I can, silly goose! He is…" Mumu pressed a couple of buttons and the machine beeped in response. "He is in bed… at the _Fa Muja Deiter_ Hotel, right here in Luca… with a woman… who appears to be Rikku!" Mumu's eyes grew two sizes larger.

"Rikku? Short-Short-Skirt Rikku?" Paine asked, now very intrigued. "How do you know?"

"There is also a radar for where Rikku is at all times of the day, because Rikku is a Gippal-lover's worst enemy! She is the only thing standing in the way between me and my GIPPALLY-POO!"

Paine nodded, her face now showing serious concern. "So, what does that mean now?"

Mumu bolted up on her feet and held the Gippal-majingulator high up over her head. "IT MEANS THAT RIKKU MUST DIE!"

"I wish you all the luck in the world, my dear friend." Paine grinned evilly at Hideo, who looked absolutely horrified at the moment, and turned to the camera. "To be on the market soon, the Gippal-majingulator."

Hideo twitched and also turned to the camera. "Yeah… thanks for tuning in to... Paine's World… Paine's… World…"

-**_end transmission_**-


End file.
